Saturday, February 03, 2007

Welcome to the Learning Clinic

(via Oehlert)
Hi, My name is Brent Schlenker, and I'm a page-turner eLearning pusher. I'm not happy about it, but to all those employees, and clients, who's lives I've destroyed (okay, that's pushin' it) peddling "the crack" of Learning...I'm sorry!

But there's hope! The Learning Clinic is open for business. And if you're reading this blog then you've already taken your first step towards recovery: You've entered the Learning Clinic...the bloggosphere...the conversation.

Now that you're here, why don't you share your story? Tell us your trials and tribulations of eLearning: Either pushing (creating) or consuming click2death learning courses. Or maybe you're in denial and you want to explain why page-turners work. It's all okay, because we support you.



Tom Haskins said...

Don't apologize Brent! I'm glad you've given the world page after page of content like a pusher. I don't feel pushed. I'm addicted to any expertise. I get off on being told what to think. I don't want to think for myself or express what I'm feeling, seeing or anything like that. (Never mind this comment I'm writing - I got help with this from a real enabler). I go into withdrawal at the end of one of those awesome training modules with the cool slides and a quiz after every third one. I miss being fed what I need to know when there's no pages to look at. It feels like someone cares for me if experts are informing me without making me think. Don't morph into some kind of shrink on me and tell me I have "unresolved dependency issues" or "compulsive behavior patterns" just because I like formal instruction. I don't appreciate "the way I like to learn" getting labelled "boring indoctrination", "useless coercion", or "snake oil". And I'm not in denial or nothing like that. Maybe you've got some shame about being a pusher and need to get in touch with your inner propagandist so you can push your powertrip on the world freely.

Codependently yours,
Addie the Addict ;-)

bschlenker said...

Tom! Thanks for finding the humor in this post. Mark's post made me laugh, which inspired my post, and your comment made me laugh even harder. Thanks!

Mark said...

First, I'm going to open a liquor store/casino next to Tom's house!

Second, JUST SAY NO TO CRACK e-learning!

Cammy Bean said...

What's a girl supposed to do? It turns out that crack e-Learning is my bread and butter. As an e-Learning vendor, this is what our clients come to us absolutely begging for.

I'm not a crack user. I'm a dealer.

You gonna arrest me? Maybe you should. Someone. Please.

bschlenker said...

Cammy! I feel your pain. Ya gotta make a living, right? They want it...and we know how to crank out the crack!
We must introduce our clients to the "new crack" burns cleaner, anyone can make it, and we all deal with/to each other. Hang in there is on the way! ;-)